One and Only Broken Angel

Last night would probably the best night of my life. Though it made me cried a lot but the laughter and fun we shared are priceless ! I really thought the plan would blew off because of some emotional reasons but in the end, it was a success ;) When the clock striked at 10PM, our store is closing. So everybody was pretty busy changing clothes and all, some are still doing last minute work and some are doing the closing.

Im just standing blurry, thinking how could this become the end of everything we built for the past 4 months together. Seriously as I was looking around, everybody is busy with their own thing. I mean, how can I leave in this condition ?! It's impossible. So I just went out, punch my card and went to the toilet for a change. As I exit, everybody is waiting outside. Took a few pictures and get on our ride to the next destination. I didnt really say goodbye to everyone because we'll meet again at the karaoke place. And then Fikri said, " Dah salam Szen td ?!" and then I said, 'alaa kan dia pegi karaoke, nnti nnti laaa ". Then fikri jawab, " dia tak pergi laa. Esok kan dia dh nak balik AS". I was like tercenggang, and stopped while we're walking to our parking spot. Okay, I admitted, tears flowed. Then I called him right away, asking for the last time whether he's going or not. He said he's gonna come. And I was like, screw Fikri. Hahahaha. But seriously if he didnt showed up, I didnt even said anything to him. Our goodbye would be like how our everyday Goodbye. Like ' goodbye, I'll see u tomorrow' kinda goodbye -_____- Because I have soo many things to say to him.

So, we did sang few of good songs and danced to the beat, grooving like the night is ours. I love it. Eventhough I can smell the air in the room is kinda tight and tense for some people, but I can still feel the love. Still :)
So after the karaoke session is done, we went downstairs to Sahur. I didnt order any because I felt so nauseous. Just an iced milo. The rest ate. Had a few chat with the people nearby me and laughed about silly things and then Fharidzul's mum called. he had to come home, like at that time. Fikri still stayed in silence. maybe he's gathering his emotions for the climax. Hmm so we( Fikri and I) both stood up and began to salam everyone and said goodbye properly. And the last person I would definitely did that was to my One and Only forever Daniel Szen. Without even saying a word, tears flowed so hard. I hugged him as tight as I can and began to spit out what's inside my heart, one by one. And we made a promise, he made a promise. That he will never ever change the way he is, never ever. That is my one and only wish. I am not strong enough and afford to face another story about that. Eventhough they threw me all kind of stories that broke my heart about him, I still trust him. And in my mind, I was like, "whatever people said about him, I knew it that they are wrong". That's all im asking. I hope it's not too much. But later, dont worry, You wont have anyone like me around you, making fuss in your life later, but I hope you will still remember me because I think I can't forget you. And everytime we said goodbye to each other, I just went all weak with you. It's my weakness. Im just so sorry for everything I've done to you. You have no idea how hard for me to say goodbye. Eventhough I didnt see any tears coming out from you, I hope you felt the goodbye too :(

So me and Fikri got into the same car. And then Fikri started to give out his speech. Dragging me to cry some more. So I hugged him from the back on his neck because he was sitting in front, next to our beloved driver, Fharidzul. And after Fikri had delivered his speech, he cried some more. Like he's asking me cry with him. I did. And as Im just looking empty out through the car window, I can feel somebody is grabbing my right hand and I was startled at once. And when I looked again, it's Fharidzul. He called out my name, He held my hand so tight and started to say few things some more. One hand holding mine, one hand on the wheel. All the way to my house. Because I never thought he would actually do that. Homaigod I just cried like a loser lady who lost her child. Hmm I just dont know how lucky I am to meet with these people. And the climax was that part. He (fharidzul) didnt cried at all as he said we live in this world like a wheel ( the same old lame quote again) but it does make sense. He said it's not a problem. 'We both live nearby and we both knew where we both live so, we can always meet each other', he said." Just go out there and meet with good new people/friends. But remember, New friends are only new for a day, and after that they're just Friends". And  He bought me chocolate. Eventhough he knew Im not resigning yet -_____- but Thanks yaa dude. And Im gonna have to go through a second phase goodbye with him. Maybe I'll cry hard too next time as he's been soo nice to me :( I dont knowww.

And after that, in front of my house, I put my bags down at the gate and gave Fikri my last speech. We hugged and cried some more. Like a loser huh ?! Hmm whatever you called it. It's our heart to heart talk. It's the last time I could stare him in his eyes as a colleague. For sure we can meet up after this, but it's never gonna be the same. For those who do not understand this, they'll never gonna get what we meant. The bond between us is strong eventhough we only built it for 4 months ++.  Not to forget the others, Izz Kerr, Firdaus, Rizuan, Syah, Atin, Saidatul. They completed my life for this period interval in soo many different ways. Thanks for making me cry, laugh and smile these 4 months. We shall work again as a team ok ?! Promise !







And then I watched them left.    O  n  e      by       O  n  e
T H E   E N D






And I'm still crying for the second day, just by thinking about this. What a loser.
XOXO,
FJ ♥