How does it feel to be left alone without anyone concerning about you? Of course those who never been left alone couldn't tell how it feels like. Oh well. At times when I do need help and support, only at that time no one is here with me, for me. Many things did happened lately. I'm so tired. I did what I have to do and did other people's work simply because they are being careless and undependable. It's like I'm on the edge of a cliff. Give me a slight push and I'm gone.
Because people always think that I'll be okay. " She can handle it" "She has no fear" "No, she can just walk there, it shouldn't be a problem" "It should be fine" " She's used to it"
And people that I depend the most.. became the person I could never depend on. Do you know how scary the world is? To walk and survive on it alone? Define alone.
There was this one day where I devoted myself too much for work and college, I had to walk to some place just to feed myself who hasn't had any meal for the day when it was evening at that time. I was turned down to drop me off but had to walk. I didn't see that was coming. I cried the whole journey thinking what I had gone through that made me so fragile and tired at that time.
And I just couldn't bother anyone because I know everyone is busy. That's why sometimes I prefer people would ask me if there's anything wrong instead of me disturbing them. I almost called a person I thought I could cry out to, but it was still class/lecture period so I dropped the call. But I do still hope you'll keep on checking upon me. or maybe I should just call you when I needed you after this.. Certain things are just hard to bear oneself, I felt like my own body will collapse, my heart will explode. I'm actually nothing but a weak person, which no one actually realized because of my tough acting :'(
Because people always think that I'll be okay. " She can handle it" "She has no fear" "No, she can just walk there, it shouldn't be a problem" "It should be fine" " She's used to it"
#NP Beast- Shadow
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