The Fullstop Of Our Lives Start Here

This is how I put on my fake smile and try to laugh along, while I'm mourning, aching, crying inside. Where nobody can see it. I am actualy not that really tough but coward instead. Because I hide my feelings. Nobody knows how to uncrack my feelings but they will when they are naturally showing. My feelings are autonomic. Involuntary.

I know I know. Every meet has it goodbye. But can you just don't tell me it ?

Today was a fairytale. But then, when I saw Fik cried just now, he pushed me to my limit. I'm holding my tears again. Let's see how tough my heart is acting.

I can't really upload all the photos, my album are full. Facebook maybe ? later we'll see ok. Hmm I can't really sleep now. My eyes are sore and red, while writing this post. I can feel the pressure Iqbal. I can feel it. It's like I have this feelings just now that I want to go back home like now, at 3.26AM in the morning. So tomorrow when they wake up, they wont find me. I am not good when dealing with goodbyes, so facing their face would be sooooo hard. But I was hoping that any of these people to atleast wait for me until I'm gone from their sight before they're gone from my sight. Endure the pain with me for the last time pleasee ? Don't let me wait for the bus alone :'( I am so strong during my high school goodbye, but why am so sad this time ? Like terribly sad. I heard goodbyes here and there. If I could, I want to hug everyone. Everyone. Because I can't take the pressure of leaving them, and they're leaving me. It's hard. But I know every story has their own ending and ours ended here. But I am really hoping this is not our fullstop.  Just tell me it isn't. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee pleaseeeeee I'm begging. I'm gonna sleep now because we're gonna have our last breakfast together tomorrow morning.

Good night beautiful people. No smiley face tonight. I'm not smilling or happy about this goodbye thingy. But sweet dreams though.

And that's how out time passed by. Fushooooh it's really fast.

XOXO,

FJ ♥